


Time

by tobiasclancy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cas sucks at these things, Dean sucks even more at these things, M/M, Post-Apocalypse, Samifer!Ending, Samifer!Universe, pretty much Sam said yes to Luci and everything went to shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 01:13:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1838980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobiasclancy/pseuds/tobiasclancy





	Time

“Dean.”  
  
Dean flinched at the sound of his name, but what surprised him more in the second it was said was the voice that had said it. He hadn’t heard that voice in what felt like forever. And suddenly he was angry.

He was pissed off.

He stood up and spun around to face the man he had thought he could trust, the man he thought he had loved and it actually _hurt_ to look at him, to see what he had become. He looked gaunt, his cheeks shallow and skin sickly. He was a mockery of his former self and it fucking hurt him to see him like this, but he was still angry.

“Castiel.” He said lowly.

Castiel’s gaze seemed to bore deeper into the floor at his feet. When Dean had turned around the man hadn’t been looking at him. He probably couldn’t look at him, and even though it was sick, Dean was _glad_ Castiel couldn't meet his eyes, that he couldn’t even look in his direction. This man, this _angel,_ had betrayed him.

“Dean,” He started. “I’m sor-”

“Save it, Cas.” Dean spat. “You can’t just say sorry. Not now.”

Castiel didn’t say another word, he just stood in the same place, staring at the same point of earth at his feet. That just managed to piss Dean off more.

“At least sit down. You look like you’re about to drop dead.” Dean exclaimed, flinching again, but this time at how agitated his voice now sounded.

Castiel stood still for a moment, but eventually sat down at a chair near the large desk, he still didn’t look at Dean, and for now Dean would ignore it, so he poured himself a drink instead, offering the other man some.

Surprisingly he declined.

They were silent while Dean sipped at his drink and Cas stared at the grainy top of the table. He was waiting to see if the other man would break the silence, which he didn’t. So Dean spoke first instead.

“Why are you here?” Dean asked, his voice quieter and less wrathful than before.

Again, Castiel didn’t look at him, he played with the hem of his jacket. He no longer wore his trademark trench coat, having discarded it a long time ago. Dean would never admit it, but he had kept it in a box, locked away in the back of his closet.

“I came to apologise.” Castiel murmured.

“Is that all?” Dean asked.

Castiel nodded. “Yes.” He spoke quietly, and with what Dean could almost say was sadness.

And that’s when the whole feeling of the room changed. It seemed to get darker in the corners of the room, colder, even. And Dean saw it the moment it happened, the exact second that Castiel’s heart seemed to shatter.

He saw the reflection of tears in his eyes, and the man was trying so hard to hold them back. And if Dean thought it hurt to look at him before, then this was absolute hell.

He reached his hand over, hesitantly holding it over Castiel’s shoulder.

“Hey, Cas come on don’t cry.” He said.

He stood up from his chair suddenly and spun around to look at Dean, his features screwed up in utter and complete anguish and hurt, and bless him, he still held his tears back. He threw his arms up in the air, letting them slam against his sides.

“Dean I fucked up.” He choked.

Dean was silent for the moment, slightly shocked that the former angel let fly an expletive. He stood a little closer to the other man, finally gripping his elbow gently with his hand.

“What do you want me to say, Cas? Tell you it’s all right? It’s not alright. You did fuck up, nothing can change that.”

“Just let me apologise, to you, to Sam.” Cas said, wiping his tears away with the back of his sleeve.

“Sam’s dead.” He said.

Cas looked him in the eye then, his own eyes wide in disbelief, and then in realisation that Dean wasn’t lying to him.

“When?”  
  
Dean shrugged. “Not long after you left.”

“How?” Cas asked, and Dean went dead quiet. He even moved away from Cas, turning his body away, picking his glass up and downing the rest of the drink.

“Dean?”  
  
“I killed him.” Dean said, voice emotionless as he spoke. “I killed my own brother because he asked me too.” He turned around again, facing Cas.  
  
“I killed him. My baby brother.” Dean threw his glass across the room, Cas flinched when it smashed against the wall. He stumbled backwards as Dean walked up to him, getting up in his space. “I killed him and was left with no one! You left us, you left me, Cas!” Dean yelled, pushing Castiel hard in the chest, the man falling onto his back.  
  
Dean straddled him and gripped the lapel of his coat and swung his fist into the side of his face. Castiel tasted the rust coloured liquid in his mouth as his teeth bit down on the inside of his cheek. Dean hit him, again and again, and Cas just let him.  
  
Dean stopped not long after he started, his face falling onto Castiel’s chest. He sobbed, and again, Castiel just let him. He thought about moving a hand to Dean’s back, but thought better of it, he didn’t want him to hit him again. After a while, Dean rolled off of him to lie on his back on the floor next to him. His face was red and wet with his still free flowing tears, his eyes blood shot.

“I miss him.” He mumbled his voice thick.  
  
“I know, Dean.” Cas said quietly.

Castiel quietly reached his hand over to Dean’s, slowly entwining their fingers. He felt Dean tense at the contact, but he quickly relaxed.

Castiel sat up a little, rolling slightly to the side and looked Dean in the eyes. He could see the other man’s sadness, and it hurt him to think that Castiel had been part of the cause of that sadness.  
  
“Dean,” He said quietly. Dean nodded that he was listening. “I can’t bring Sam back, but I can try to rebuild a friendship with you, if you wish that.”  
  
Dean swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing slightly. “Is that what you want, Cas?”  
  
Castiel shrugged. “There are things I want, and things I cannot get. What I want falls into that category. I do want to have some form of friendship with you, Dean.” He said, looking towards the far wall.  
  
Dean’s eyebrows furrowed. He hated when Cas got cryptic on him.  
  
“Cas, look at me.” Dean said.  
  
Castiel did, his head cocked to one side. That action almost made Dean smile, it made him remember the old days, when his brother was still alive, when things were more black and white and less grey, the days when he was younger and Cas was strong, beautiful and magnificent.  
  
“Castiel. What do you want?” Dean said seriously.  
  
“You.” Cas answered, his eyes never leaving Dean’s.  
  
Dean nodded and sat up next to Castiel, pulling him into a hug.  
  
“Don’t leave me again.” Dean almost sobbed into Cas’s shoulder, his voice thick with so many emotions it was hard to pick one to focus on.  
  
Castiel gripped Dean close, had he still had his grace, he knew his wings would have encircled them both, a barrier against the outside world, but he was merely a man now.  
  
“I won’t. I will stay with you until the end of days, as a friend or whatever you require me to be. That is my purpose, Dean.”  
  
Dean pulled back and took in Castiel’s face. He wanted to trust his friend, to believe in those words, but he needed to protect himself too.

“Time will tell.” Was all Dean said before he softly pressed his lips to Castiel’s. The kiss was chaste, questioning, and Castiel answered the question by slowly kissing back.


End file.
